To my Michael,
You are eight weeks old! Your dad says I should probably start counting your age in months instead of weeks, but I think that makes you sound even older. As I write this you're napping on your mat in the living room as Mom has finally learned how much better you sleep on your belly, and finally feels comfortable enough to let you do so… at least for napping.
I am writing you this because in just a few short days our spending time together all day every day will come to an end as Mommy returns to work. In the beginning it seemed as if this day would never come, and then I blinked, and now it's upon us.
When I say I felt it would never come it's not because I didn't love spending time with you… I did. And with each passing day I love it more and more. I also love working, and returning to work is not easy, but so important and I want to tell you why.
First of all I want to show you that work is a part of life. Sometimes it's tough, but it's a part of life and a good part at that.
Work isn't just getting up and going to a place, performing tasks, and going home… it comes in all forms. It could be working to clean the house or take care of babies. For you one day it'll be school work or chores… it can even come in the form of communication and working on relationships. Everything worthwhile in this life takes work. And it's not enough for me to tell you this, but rather I need to show you with how I live my life… you may not always remember my words, but something tells me you'll remember my actions.
Working, in all its forms, will make you a better person. The challenges that come with hard work will shape your character and give you a sense of purpose… you won't always feel like working but if you only do what you "feel like" doing you won't end up anywhere that you truly want to be.
I am going back to work because I love my job and the people that I get to work with. I love what we get to do on a daily basis to help people gain a relationship with Jesus. I love being a part of something that is bigger than myself.
You…my brilliant, beautiful, baby girl have so much to offer the world. And I'll always want and pray that you find something bigger than you that you can use your gifts and talents that God has blessed you with to serve others, being humble and kind while doing so.
Michael, as you grow, you'll realize that you're allowed to enjoy more than one thing at a time. For you, you might one day enjoy soccer and dance, gymnastics or schoolwork, spending time with your friends and family, balancing it all. For me I love many things… spending time with you and your dad top my list, I love to read and write, and I also love to work and love my job.
It's great to love a lot of things, and I hope you'll find things that you love and are passionate about. Whatever you choose to do, I'll be behind you, to support you and encourage you. I also will be praying Philippians 2:3…that you "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself".
Just like I strive to give my all at my job, I will always strive to give my all to your dad and to you, making the most of the time we have together.
Most importantly for you to know is that everything your dad and I choose to do is what we think is best for you and our family. YOU are our number one priority. And for now that looks like Mom going back to work. And though it will be hard and I will miss you the very most, I will be brave and do so with all the joy I have to give… you will be in good hands and I know that this is the first step of many that will push both you and I to grow into the women God has planned for us to be.
I love you more than words can say.